closing in on my end of the year pity party

It’s happening , the pity police are closing in.

I discovered in my University Years that I fall into a trap of self doubt at the same time each year. If I’m lucky it only happens once in a year. But it’s mid December (winter exam time) & it happened this past March (end of year exams!).

I don’t know what happened to my mojo. For a while I was happy with how things were going. I became a mom and it has been the bliss I have been looking for to fill my life.

People always say “One Day at a Time” BUT what the heck?! what if I can’t figure out one day from the next? what am I going to do when my kiddo starts school and I’m back to square one? I’ll be doing the same thing day in day out, but without her making me laugh. She’ll be saving all of her shenanigans for her peers – those lucky ducks!

And you know who says the One Day business? People like my husband who seem to have things sorted out. or my parents. or my best friend.

This latest cluster-truck of over analyzing started Monday, I just finished leading a discussion about this great book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. it’s a handy book, Daniel.H.Pink talks about what we know to be true about ourselves but how work environments don’t have their act together when it comes to motivating staff. If you have a chance to pick it up I recommend it. I would stay away from the audio book , D.H.P says the word experiment in a weird way and it was like nails on a chalkboard by the time I got to the end of disc 5.

Instead of being super stoked that I wrapped up on a high note  I  haven’t been able to stop thinking about what the book says and how I feel about myself. Am I in a good head space? Where do I go from here? Will I EVER find satisfaction?

To be clear, I do find satisfaction in most areas of my life. I don’t want my family to think I’m some asshole who doesn’t love them. I’m not a monster.

But I am so curious to know what my future holds, I have not frickin’ clue. Where should I start?

What about you friendly reader? Have you found your calling? Do you use simple techniques to set goals and then achieve them? I’d love to hear your philosophies on life.

Talk soon,

A

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